Spotlight on... Ben Johnson
Beth Sharb
Issue date: 9/17/09 Section: Lifestyles
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A: "Tell me about your major"...uhhh...it consists of a lot of practicing and not a lot of studying for Gen. Eds.
Q: What was your craziest night ever?
A: One time when I was a freshman, I drank two King Cobras and then went to a party and then I woke up on the soccer field.
Q: Then what happened?
A: I don't remember. I woke up and I was all wet from the dew. And then I decided to go back to my dorm.
Q: I take it you're not adverse to the term "freshman?"
A: No. "Freshmeat" is derogatory. "Freshman" is fine.
Q: Do you ever get confused with the poet Ben Jonson?
A: Every day.
Q: Why did your last girlfriend break up with you?
A: I don't even remember who my last girlfriend was, to be quite honest.
Q: Okay, then why was your last hookup just a hookup?
A: Well, probably the sex.
Q: What is an instant turnoff for you?
A: Well, there's a lot. Armpit hair, girls with a man voice and incredibly terrible high-pitched laughs. Oh, and being dumb.
Q: If you were stranded on a desert island, and you could bring three things, what would you bring?
A: Big ol' box of porn, a gun and probably some...plants.
Q: What is the most insulting thing you can say without swearing?
A: I'm going to have to think for a second about this one. If I was your father, I would have smothered you by now.
Q: You can only listen to one song for the rest of your life. What is it?
A: "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life" by Third Eye Blind.
Q: Why?
A: Because it's really catchy and it's about doing meth.
Q: Who were you in high school? The jock, the stoner, the player, etc.?
A: The king of detention.
Q: How was your prom?
A: Well, I didn't get laid, if that's what you're asking.
Q: And why do you think that was? Pre-pubescent?
A: Well, haven't you been talking to me so far? It's probably because I'm an asshole.
Q: Does that bother you?
A: Not one bit.
Q: What is the most romantic thing you've ever done for a girl?
A: Really not. Nothing.
Q: Well, if you were going to do something, what would you do? What would be a cute gesture? You're trying to get the girl of your dreams here!
A: I'd probably jump out of a giant birthday cake and sing a song about how much I'm in love with her. And I'd be naked. That's the kicker.
Q: On any random Tuesday night, what are you doing?
A: Jam session at Rumba Café!
Q: What do you think your primary instrument says about you?
A: My instrument's very big. Quote unquote.
Q: I was going more for like, bassists are the most talented instrumentalists.
A: Nope.
By Beth Sharb
Editor-in-chief
bsharb@capital.edu
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