Stay Classy Capital
Connor Thompson
Issue date: 10/15/09 Section: Lifestyles
Q: "Is there a classy way to leave after a hook up?"
A: As most of us have become aware, hook ups can be the best and worst experience of your college stay.
But let's be real, you bawdy boys and girls...after a hook up, classiness should be the last thing you're worried about.
The simple answer to this question would be "no." However, there are some less-than-trashy ways to exit the awkward situation some call the "After Sex Cuddle."
My advice (and I'm sad to say it comes from experience) is as follows: never let things take place on home turf.
Never offer up your bed, futon, couch or car because to some that means a free nights stay and maybe a continental breakfast in the morning.
The easiest thing to do in order to get out of a situation like this is to blame it on the roommate and not the a-a-alcohol.
Tell your booty call that your roommate has a busy day tomorrow and is currently sleeping. It'll work, believe me.
So, why all the talk about whose piece of furniture this takes place on?
Well, my nervous nymphos, if you're not on home turf it's easier for you to "dip-set."
My next piece of advice is after the deed (or deeds, if your swag is on full blast) is done, you should stick around for only twenty minutes
That's the perfect amount of time to show that you care enough about the person to not leave after climax, but don't care enough to want a relationship.
During the "terrible twenty" (as I like to call them), you should cuddle, but avoid starting to hook up again. Watch where those hands go, Helen Keller.
After the cuddle, tell them that you would love to stay with them for the night, but you don't want people to get the wrong impression. Once again, show that you care, even if you don't.
Then, zip up those pants, put on your shirt and only after looking in the mirror and fixing your tosseled hair, walk out the door and feel proud of yourself. Not only did you just hook up, but you also managed to stay classy, Capital.
By Connor Thompson
Contributor
chimes@capital.edu
A: As most of us have become aware, hook ups can be the best and worst experience of your college stay.
But let's be real, you bawdy boys and girls...after a hook up, classiness should be the last thing you're worried about.
The simple answer to this question would be "no." However, there are some less-than-trashy ways to exit the awkward situation some call the "After Sex Cuddle."
My advice (and I'm sad to say it comes from experience) is as follows: never let things take place on home turf.
Never offer up your bed, futon, couch or car because to some that means a free nights stay and maybe a continental breakfast in the morning.
The easiest thing to do in order to get out of a situation like this is to blame it on the roommate and not the a-a-alcohol.
Tell your booty call that your roommate has a busy day tomorrow and is currently sleeping. It'll work, believe me.
So, why all the talk about whose piece of furniture this takes place on?
Well, my nervous nymphos, if you're not on home turf it's easier for you to "dip-set."
My next piece of advice is after the deed (or deeds, if your swag is on full blast) is done, you should stick around for only twenty minutes
That's the perfect amount of time to show that you care enough about the person to not leave after climax, but don't care enough to want a relationship.
During the "terrible twenty" (as I like to call them), you should cuddle, but avoid starting to hook up again. Watch where those hands go, Helen Keller.
After the cuddle, tell them that you would love to stay with them for the night, but you don't want people to get the wrong impression. Once again, show that you care, even if you don't.
Then, zip up those pants, put on your shirt and only after looking in the mirror and fixing your tosseled hair, walk out the door and feel proud of yourself. Not only did you just hook up, but you also managed to stay classy, Capital.
By Connor Thompson
Contributor
chimes@capital.edu
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Thee Joe Chinchar
posted 10/18/09 @ 8:31 PM EST
connor thompson my life long neighbor i love this, this is perfect and so true, keep up the good work my friend
Morgan G
posted 10/19/09 @ 4:51 PM EST
Connor Thompson thank you for this wonderful advice! This will certainly help will all my one night stands! ;]
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