The Chimes

Issue date: 10/29/09 Section: Sports

Media Credit: flickr.com

Media Credit: flickr.com

Media Credit: flickr.com

Media Credit: flickr.com

Media Credit: flickr.com

Love sports? Need a funny costume for Halloween? Like to make fun of famous people? Here are some ideas for costumes that could be right up your alley.


A-Roid
New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez admitted this year that he used steroids early in his career. This upset many fans of the sport, especially people who already hated the Yankees.

This costume is a fairly simple one. Get a white shirt and write A-Rod's number on the back (13). Where "Rodriguez" usually belongs, write "A-Roid".

When people ask you about the costume, you can explode in a "roid rage" and say you didn't do anything wrong. (If you feel really bold, wear the same costume except change it to "Derek Cheater". You may be physically harmed for this one.)


Michael Vick
As all sports fans know, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick just finished serving a two-year prison sentence for dog fighting. Now back in the NFL with the Philadelphia Eagles, he has taken some pretty public criticism.

You can dress up in a red and black shirt (the falcons colors) and write Vick and a number seven on the back (an actual jersey would add authenticity. Then carry around a bag or bowl of dog food and whistle "here boy!" all night.

If you run into any member of PETA, or anyone from the greater Atlanta area who still loves Vick, prepare for a confrontation.


Emmitt Smith
Anyone who goes from NFL all-time leading rusher to waltzing on national television with washed-up celebrities deserves at least a little bit of flack.

The retired Dallas Cowboys running back saw a regain in fame when he won the popular TV show "Dancing with the Stars."

Anyone that likes dancing and sequins can dress up in glitzy pants and a flashy shirt and sashay around all night while holding a football or a dancing trophy.

There are plenty of possibilities for this costume, so it's good if you are making a quick thrift store run for material. Obnoxious, pimp-resembling outfits are perfect for this ensemble.


Tom Brady and Referee
This is a costume that will require a partner. One person dresses like New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Jersey and pads, or even a blue shirt with a big "12" on the back.

The "partner" dresses like a standard referee. Black-and-white outfit and annoying obnoxious , shiny whistle around the neck are both necessities.

Recently, every time Brady is even breathed on in a game, the referees give the defense a poor excuse for a "roughing the passer" call, ruining defensive stops.

Keeping with this recent trend, whenever anyone gets close to Brady, the referee blows a whistle and throws yellow penalty flags and shouts about "roughing the passer." Go ahead and blow the whistle if anyone even looks at him funny. Maybe Brady can wear a tutu. Get creative.


Ohio Sports Fan
This is the simplest costume. A paper bag over your head and a shirt that says "Ohio Sports Fan" are all that is needed.

Of the Big Four sports (Baseball, Basketball, Football, and Hockey), no professional team in Ohio has won it all since the 1990 Cincinnati Reds. Now, the Reds are on a 9 season losing streak.

The Cleveland Indians haven't won the World Series since 1948, the longest draught in the majors. The Cincinnati Bengals have lost the Super Bowl twice, which is at least better then the Cleveland Browns, who have never even been to the Super Bowl.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have only been to the NBA Finals once, and they lost. The Columbus Blue Jackets made the NHL playoffs for the first time last season, and were promptly swept in their first series.

It is a dark time for Ohio sports.

By Ben Ferree
Contributor
bferree@capital.edu

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