It's a deal breaker: Overkill with perfume spray
Connor Thompson
Issue date: 2/25/10 Section: Opinion
Greetings and salutations beautiful young female, whom I'd love to disregard and instead acquire currency, but cannot due to the vast amount of sexual appeal radiating off of your body.
I revel in admiring you from afar, however, I am now going to take a closer step towards you and act as though I actually care about this text I am pretending to study in the 'Philosophy' section of this bookstore and see if the perfume that you decided to spray on certain locations of your perfectly proportioned anatomy meets my standards.
Yes, it indeed does, however, one spray instead of fourteen would have sufficed. That's usually how it goes when I see a beautiful Snow Bunny.
However, instead of reading a book in a bookstore, she's drinking a fifty cent pitcher of beer at a place like Sloopys, because, well, let's face it... I don't frequent bookstores and when I do, I am in the sex and erotica section, not philosophy.
And, for those of you wondering, yes, that is actually how intellectually the words in my mind play out while I think to myself.
I'd like to take a moment to enlighten my female readers of the proper way to douse their bodies in their cheap perfumes, or expensive ones if they are like me and enjoy the fine scents of the Burberry collection.
Too many times have I met a girl whose looks were a solid eight or nine on the hot scale, but whose smell was nothing more than a two or three.
Yes, I'm sure that your Yves Saint Laurent perfume smelled magnificent in the store when you were buying it and it probably smells even better when you get it back to your dorm, but after your seventh or tenth spray of it, it gets over-powering and clogs my nostrils and the only thing I can think is not how hot you are but rather, what other part of her body is this odiferous?
Ladies (and men alike): be careful with your sprays. Once on your wrist, once on your neck and once on the front of the chest. Maybe once on your shoulders, that way people get a good scent of it when they hug you throughout the day.
Don't make the mistake of spraying so much that it seems like you took a biker bath in your cologne or perfume. That's a major turn off.
So, the next time you are getting ready to go out and reach for that bottle, remember, you could be seeing me in the philosophy section of Blackmore that day.
By Connor Thompson
Contributor
cthompso2@capital.edu
I revel in admiring you from afar, however, I am now going to take a closer step towards you and act as though I actually care about this text I am pretending to study in the 'Philosophy' section of this bookstore and see if the perfume that you decided to spray on certain locations of your perfectly proportioned anatomy meets my standards.
Yes, it indeed does, however, one spray instead of fourteen would have sufficed. That's usually how it goes when I see a beautiful Snow Bunny.
However, instead of reading a book in a bookstore, she's drinking a fifty cent pitcher of beer at a place like Sloopys, because, well, let's face it... I don't frequent bookstores and when I do, I am in the sex and erotica section, not philosophy.
And, for those of you wondering, yes, that is actually how intellectually the words in my mind play out while I think to myself.
I'd like to take a moment to enlighten my female readers of the proper way to douse their bodies in their cheap perfumes, or expensive ones if they are like me and enjoy the fine scents of the Burberry collection.
Too many times have I met a girl whose looks were a solid eight or nine on the hot scale, but whose smell was nothing more than a two or three.
Yes, I'm sure that your Yves Saint Laurent perfume smelled magnificent in the store when you were buying it and it probably smells even better when you get it back to your dorm, but after your seventh or tenth spray of it, it gets over-powering and clogs my nostrils and the only thing I can think is not how hot you are but rather, what other part of her body is this odiferous?
Ladies (and men alike): be careful with your sprays. Once on your wrist, once on your neck and once on the front of the chest. Maybe once on your shoulders, that way people get a good scent of it when they hug you throughout the day.
Don't make the mistake of spraying so much that it seems like you took a biker bath in your cologne or perfume. That's a major turn off.
So, the next time you are getting ready to go out and reach for that bottle, remember, you could be seeing me in the philosophy section of Blackmore that day.
By Connor Thompson
Contributor
cthompso2@capital.edu
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
Christy Bebeau
posted 2/26/10 @ 7:29 AM EST
What your readers may not realize is that others always smell our fragrance better than we do. It's physiological. Our sense of smell is a protection device - when a new scent hits our olifactory, a message is transmitted to the brain for anaysis. (Continued…)
writing services
posted 3/08/10 @ 4:01 PM EST
I think it's good that he's paying attention to the issue of gang violence.
Gregory
posted 3/11/10 @ 2:20 AM EST
I agree. Two or three sprays are enough.
buying essay
posted 3/16/10 @ 8:51 AM EST
Two are enough, in my opinion.
Post a Comment