Interracial Dating
Sarah Unger
Issue date: 3/11/10 Section: Feature
Angela Yerian and Byron Mitchell (dating for 5 months)
How did you meet?
Angela: Orientation. We were in the same group.
Byron: When we first met, she had a boyfriend.
Is this your first interracial relationship?
Angela: Yeah
Byron: No. I've had three others.
How did your parents react?
Angela: My parents, I don't think it's Byron's fault. I'm spending a lot of time with one person, so I think my parents are going, shouldn't you not being dating someone right now? But, that's how all parents are.
How did your friends react?
Angela: I think my friends were just shocked that I broke up with my boyfriend. But, besides that fact, they weren't shocked. They like him a lot actually.
Has being in an interracial relationship help you notice more things?
Angela: For me it was different to get used to. I come from a very small town and in our community there are only a couple different races. There was only like one family in my high school that wasn't white. I think it was kind of a culture shock almost to come here. However, I was reading an article about interracial relationships over the weekend and the guy said that he looked over to his wife, he's like after awhile you don't see color anymore, you see the person who makes you smile. And that's what you see.
Byron: I grew up mostly in an all white community, so I'm pretty used to it by now.
Do you think there is a lot of negativity that surrounds interracial relationships?
Angela: Yes and no. I think that we have gotten a lot better about it. In that same article it said like 73 percent of marriages are interracial. I think it's just opening your mind and freeing yourself from all the negativity. It's not that hard. It's just ignoring it or seeing past it.
Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking about being in an interracial relationship?
Byron: I say go for it.
Angela: I say be open because if you're not open than you're going to probably miss something.
Kevin McDougald and Caitlin Condon (dating for 2 years)
When you first became attracted to each other, did you notice skin color?
Caitlin: Not really. Even now, it's not in the forefront of my consciousness. It's not really part of our relationship. We chose not to define our relationship by that, so we haven't really concentrated on it.
Kevin: No, I didn't. To me, you don't have to necessarily be one color or another to be attracted to someone.
Would you say the different ways you grew up affected your relationship?
Caitlin: Like I said, I really don't like going home anymore. My family is fine with it, but where I come from, the confederate soldier was our mascot and the confederate flag was ran across the football field by someone on a horse. It's just not an accepting part of the world. He jokes around that he's used to it; well, I'm not and it just pisses me off. So why put myself in that situation?
Kevin: My family has obviously reared me to be really accepting. My mom and dad joked about how, in high school, this girl's parents told me that I couldn't date their daughter because I was a black guy. It was like I had just been initiated into the family because everyone else in my family had shit talked to them about the interracial relationships that they would be in.
Has being in an interracial relationship made you see the world any differently?
Caitlin: Yeah, I definitely do. For me, I notice it more because I'm new to this. It still bothers me and I don't think there will ever be a point where it doesn't bother me. In my mind, if we end up together forever, I'm going to have children that are going to have to deal with that. It's not ok that people are still thinking this way, that people are still giving looks. No child ever, whether it's mine or someone else's should have to experience that look.
Kevin: It has definitely broadened my horizons to see where people's boundaries are and how accepting they can really be. It definitely is eye-opening and tests who the people around you are.
Do you have advice to say to someone who is thinking about being in an interracial relationship?
Kevin: Being in an interracial relationship is as hard as you make it. If you want to focus on that the entire time and you want to focus on the fact that you are in an interracial relationship then that's all it's going to be and that's what it's going to come down to. If someone came up to Caitlin and I and said something about it, that's probably the first time that we had thought about it that entire day, week, month, year. If you concentrate on it, that's what you're going to define yourself by. Don't make it harder than it is; it's a relationship like any other.
By Sarah Unger
sunger@capital.edu
How did you meet?
Angela: Orientation. We were in the same group.
Byron: When we first met, she had a boyfriend.
Is this your first interracial relationship?
Angela: Yeah
Byron: No. I've had three others.
How did your parents react?
Angela: My parents, I don't think it's Byron's fault. I'm spending a lot of time with one person, so I think my parents are going, shouldn't you not being dating someone right now? But, that's how all parents are.
How did your friends react?
Angela: I think my friends were just shocked that I broke up with my boyfriend. But, besides that fact, they weren't shocked. They like him a lot actually.
Has being in an interracial relationship help you notice more things?
Angela: For me it was different to get used to. I come from a very small town and in our community there are only a couple different races. There was only like one family in my high school that wasn't white. I think it was kind of a culture shock almost to come here. However, I was reading an article about interracial relationships over the weekend and the guy said that he looked over to his wife, he's like after awhile you don't see color anymore, you see the person who makes you smile. And that's what you see.
Byron: I grew up mostly in an all white community, so I'm pretty used to it by now.
Do you think there is a lot of negativity that surrounds interracial relationships?
Angela: Yes and no. I think that we have gotten a lot better about it. In that same article it said like 73 percent of marriages are interracial. I think it's just opening your mind and freeing yourself from all the negativity. It's not that hard. It's just ignoring it or seeing past it.
Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking about being in an interracial relationship?
Byron: I say go for it.
Angela: I say be open because if you're not open than you're going to probably miss something.
Kevin McDougald and Caitlin Condon (dating for 2 years)
When you first became attracted to each other, did you notice skin color?
Caitlin: Not really. Even now, it's not in the forefront of my consciousness. It's not really part of our relationship. We chose not to define our relationship by that, so we haven't really concentrated on it.
Kevin: No, I didn't. To me, you don't have to necessarily be one color or another to be attracted to someone.
Would you say the different ways you grew up affected your relationship?
Caitlin: Like I said, I really don't like going home anymore. My family is fine with it, but where I come from, the confederate soldier was our mascot and the confederate flag was ran across the football field by someone on a horse. It's just not an accepting part of the world. He jokes around that he's used to it; well, I'm not and it just pisses me off. So why put myself in that situation?
Kevin: My family has obviously reared me to be really accepting. My mom and dad joked about how, in high school, this girl's parents told me that I couldn't date their daughter because I was a black guy. It was like I had just been initiated into the family because everyone else in my family had shit talked to them about the interracial relationships that they would be in.
Has being in an interracial relationship made you see the world any differently?
Caitlin: Yeah, I definitely do. For me, I notice it more because I'm new to this. It still bothers me and I don't think there will ever be a point where it doesn't bother me. In my mind, if we end up together forever, I'm going to have children that are going to have to deal with that. It's not ok that people are still thinking this way, that people are still giving looks. No child ever, whether it's mine or someone else's should have to experience that look.
Kevin: It has definitely broadened my horizons to see where people's boundaries are and how accepting they can really be. It definitely is eye-opening and tests who the people around you are.
Do you have advice to say to someone who is thinking about being in an interracial relationship?
Kevin: Being in an interracial relationship is as hard as you make it. If you want to focus on that the entire time and you want to focus on the fact that you are in an interracial relationship then that's all it's going to be and that's what it's going to come down to. If someone came up to Caitlin and I and said something about it, that's probably the first time that we had thought about it that entire day, week, month, year. If you concentrate on it, that's what you're going to define yourself by. Don't make it harder than it is; it's a relationship like any other.
By Sarah Unger
sunger@capital.edu
Be the first to comment on this story